Your wedding needs a Plan B

I'm a Plan B person. These days, I feel as if I need to be a Plan C, D and E person as well. I wish life came with a soundtrack so I'd know what to expect next; I wouldn't walk down that corridor if the theme music from Jaws was playing. Similarly, I wouldn't be planning a wedding if the accompanying music was from The Omen or Nightmare on Elm Street. I'm sure there are brides and grooms out there now who feel as though these tracks could be their own personal wedding planning theme song right now. But life doesn't come with a soundtrack; it's messy and unpredictable and things are often out of our control. 

Really, the only thing any of us have any control over is ourselves- how we react to things- so let's get some control over the stuff we actually can influence and make some of those backup plans.

I'm a trained high school teacher, and whenever I took my kids on an excursion, I had to do a risk assessment. Although I remember rolling my eyes at how pedantic the whole process was, in hindsight I can definitely see the value. Right now, I think they're probably a pretty good idea for weddings as well; in fact, I'd be willing to bet my life on it that the majority of your vendors will have one. So, why shouldn’t you?

Let's consider COVID. Over the past year, we've seen guest numbers for weddings limited depending on a four-square-metre rule and whether the event was taking place indoors or out; we've seen dancing banned, performers having to maintain a three-metre rule and with everyone having to remain in their seats; we've seen guest numbers capped at 50, then 20, then 10. And as I write this, weddings can't take place in Greater Sydney at all! Couples have been required to be incredibly flexible and resilient. (Well done, all of you!)

Now, no amount of planning is ever going to take the disappointment away, but just like a little a little pethidine can take the edge off labour (those of you who've had babies know what I'm talking about), some forward planning might just take the sting out. Sit down- just you and your significant other- and think about the risks. Talk about what might go wrong and decide on what is important to you. For example, is just getting married your priority, or do you want the whole shebang? (There's a word I don't use very often.) Is dancing during your reception a priority, or would you be satisfied for just the wedding party to dance while your guests enjoy the show (and each other's company, of course)? No judgement here. At all. It is also vitally important that you discuss your 'deal-breakers' with your vendors as well. Just remember, we're all in the same boat: for you, it's your wedding day; for us, it's our livelihoods. And remember: you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I imagine vendors will do everything within their power to make sure your wedding dreams become a reality.

We need to be able to roll with the punches. One of my mum's mantras was 'there are bigger and better things to worry about'. (I miss my mum and I miss her wisdom.) And all of these things can be worked around. Just decide what is important to you; you might be disappointed with postponements or adjustments to exact locations or whatever, but at least you won't have made those contingency plans in the midst of emotional turmoil and that will take the edge off. 

Please send me a message if you need to chat. 

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